Time Cookie Wars

Have you ever had one of those “Past Self, why did you mess this up for me?” moments? Of course you have. Past Self is a jerk.

Well, the time has come to get your vengeance on Past Self, because my story “The Time Cookie Wars” is now available at Flash Fiction Online! If you like the internet’s best short-short fiction, I strongly recommend a subscription to their fine magazine.

Go enjoy a quick little bite of black humor, then continue below the fold for some brief extra background and story notes. May contain spoilers.

This story was inspired by a friend’s Facebook post this past spring1. She asked, “Past self, why did you not buy cookies?” – and I spun out the terrible implications of taking the cookies for your irresponsible past. As soon as I had implied the existence of #TimeCookieWars, I knew I needed to tell their tale…

I had originally planned to Tuckerize my friend who was kind enough to provide such perfect inspiration, but after revisions and research I realized our poor character needed a Swedish name. Because, of course, she needs to come from a heritage with blood baking.

This story’s title is meant as a riff on the Blood Space War from the phenomenal podcast Welcome to Nightvale. If you have any doubts about the pacing and emphasis of the words “Time Cookie War,” the answer is to say them exactly as you’d say the phrase “Blood Space War.”

Finally, this marks my second recent story where multiple timelines lead to terrible danger. I cannot close this post in good conscience without this safety warning from the esteemed Dr. Chuck Tingle:TingleTimelines


  1. Linked instead of inserted, to save anyone from an in-your-face image full of spoilers

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